Where to from here? NOT the L100 blog. .

My L100 blog is well underway. 3000 words far.  It's a long one.  A bit like the race really, so it's only to be expected. Speaking of long races, the South Downs Way 100 opens tomorrow morning. Well, this morning actually. It's 1am and I'm  awake. My wee boy is poorly and so sleep is not close by for me tonight. Chances are I'll look and feel as rough as a badger's @#$* in the morning.
Anyway, since I'm up I'm trying to decide whether or not to enter the race.  It's not cheap (no big races are these days), logistically it's a total nightmare - being down on the south coast the practicalities and costs of doing recce runs are too much so I'd be running the race not knowing the route at all (always risky for a long race). And then there's the date - it's during term time and as of yesterday I am now a school mum, and running and races now have to revolve around this new world we find ourselves in. But the route looks absolutely stunning and I've always wanted to do a Centurion Running 100 mile race. And if the WS100 qualifying races in the UK it's probably the easiest to get into.  My other race options either fill up in minutes or are lottery-based so there's no guarantee of getting in at all.
It begs the question 'how much do I want to run WS100?' With next to no chance of getting through the WS100 lottery should I even be basing my running plans around qualifying for that, especially when it requires me to run one of only 5 100 milers in the UK every year in order to increase my tickets in the lottery? Is the WS100 really still THE big race on my bucket list? What else is on my bucket list, and are those races more meaningful?

The BGR had already been covered in my blog.

I've thought a lot about doing WHWR again.  I've always wanted to go back and do myself justice in that race. But I don't know if now is the time to do it. I have been asked about the Triple Crown recently with friends having completed that but it's never had any great hold on me. I love the races individually and the West Highland Way will always have a special place in my heart but I don't have any goals for the TC.

What about the L100 again? Too soon to ask? Ha ha

I really want to do a Hardmoors race. I just can't decide which one. There's so many!

And a Cockbain event - just because they're nails!

I would love to race in the South West. Maybe the Arc of Attrition or maybe something less extreme. There's a 50 miler in North Devon that looks really good but I can't for the life of me remember it's name.

I would love to race in the Peak District too. It's so beautiful there, and I love exploring beautiful places.

And then there's the BIG one for me. As far as UK races goes, ones I haven't already done, it has to be the Spine. This race has super special meaning for me and it is definitely in my plans. Hopefully in 2018.

Races abroad - well obviously WS100 is on the list. But there is another race in the US that I really really fancy, and for me it possibly has a bit more meaning personally, and that's Monument Valley 50. The race looks beyond epic.
I have no big desire to do some of the other big name races out there at this point eg Leadville or Hardrock. Randomly Badwater 135 does tempt me though.

In Europe there are so many races to choose from - Transvulcania, UTMB/CCC, Laverado, Tour de Geants, Eco Trail de Paris. I could list 100 races. I'd love to go to Italy, or Iceland, or Norway, or pretty much anywhere - Europe is such a varied and amazing place.

But, even more so than races at home in the UK, the timings, costs and logistics are all BIG factors is whatever I do going forward. And planning is a key part of all that. If all I had to think about was work then planning all these kinds of adventures would be so much simpler. But I am a working mum, with one child now started school and the other going to nursery, university starts soon too (never thought I'd be saying that again) and we have to plan around Paul's extraordinary busy work life too. Races can be hard to get into, and training for them a real drain on you, so you have to really want to do them and if you're like me, with the commitment you have to give to these races, they need to mean something.

So I need to decide how much I want to get tickets for that WS lottery, how much do I want to do a Centurion race (right now) and is there not another race, or event that would be more rewarding at this point in my crazy life? Which path is right for me, right now?
Less than 9 hours till the race opens... no pressure then ;-)

Montane Lakeland 100 - the preamble

 I knew it was going to hurt: a lot. I hadn’t covered the mileage in training that I had wanted to. I don’t think I had done any more mileage for the 100 than I had done last year for the 50. On the plus side, my hill training had been good. I had had some wonderful days on the Lakeland fells, but the price for this was the obvious reduced mileage.  And those numbers played on my mind.  There have been numerous points since January that I have considered withdrawing from the race. But I didn't. For the first time since I started running 10 years ago I was going into a race with absolutely no time targets and just wanting to make it to the finish. I know we all say that we have no targets but secretly we do, we just don't want to tell anyone in case we don't quite make it. Come on, you know you do it too!

Race number - suddenly it was very real.

The thing is, it never really registered with me before the race that finishing the race within the 40 hour time limit is actually a tough time to target itself. I even saw some chat online about how tough the new cut-offs were for the checkpoints, but still it didn't register. So when I started the race on Friday evening I really didn't have any time targets. It was only as the weekend progressed that I realised how wrong I had been.

Apart from the physical training part of getting ready for the race I had actually prepared quite well. I'd really done my homework. I'd studied the route in detail. I'd done multiple recce runs. I’d read a ridiculous number of blogs of the race. I'd made careful choices in what kit I was going to use (after much experimentation). Knowing how poor my physical training had been I had been working on a bunch of mental strategies to utilise during the race. Whether I'd been doing 100 mile weeks all year or not I think the mental training for this kind of race is crucial.

Race day kit

So when we turned up at Coniston on Friday morning I was ready as I could be given what life had thrown at me during 2016. That's what we all do though really isn't it – certainly when you're facing what is widely regarded as the hardest 100 miler in the UK. You do what you can and hope that it will help you get to that finish line.

I really dislike it when you hear some runners say “it’s not about finding the time to train but making the time.”  The phrase makes the training-life balance seem black and white, but as we all know life is a million shades of grey. The way some people can fit their training into their own lives simply won’t fit into another person’s.  You cannot fit a square peg into a round hole. The commitment and dedication to training cannot be measured in miles or time.  From the sharp end and all the way down the field of runners you will find people fully invested and committed to an event.  For a race like the Lakeland 100 you can’t just wing it. There will be a minimum amount of training that you need to make in order to make sure that you cross that finish line (in whatever time it may be) and this will provide the basis of the mental strength you need to get through those key moments that will either make or break you.

'Resting' in the tent before the race

See how we are pretending not to be stressed ;-)

 As Marc Laithwaite told us all in the L100 pre-race briefing, we had all done all we could to prepare and train for the race: If we could have done more we would have done it.  I have spent so much of this year disappointed in myself at not being able to complete the physical side of the training that I’d hoped to be able to do due to health issues and things beyond my control. My confidence in my racing ability was in all honesty at an all-time low.  This is why I had to switch my goals for the race.  I had to look at my training and decide how I was going to approach the event.  I could no longer be aiming at splits for checkpoints, looking at who else was in the race or be thinking where I was going to see my sunrise (initially I only planned on seeing one!). I shifted from target goals completely and I was only focused on process goals.  It was all about being in THAT moment and being in THAT mile and doing what I could there and then.

So my plan for the race was incredibly simple. After a jog through Coniston to soak up the atmosphere I would walk the entire first climb up the Walna Scar Road, the only exception being the short flat bit before the car-park and take it easy on the first descent to save my quads for later. That left 98 miles to deal with, one mile at a time. Other than that, stay away from sugar in the early stages and keep sipping on my Tailwind.  I have been using Tailwind for over 2 years now and never had any stomach problems whilst using it.  I didn’t want nausea and sickness to feature in this race as it was already a huge enough task without adding to the challenge. 

So that was it. There we were, all standing nervously in the starting pen listening to Nessun Dorma; some chatting, others, myself included, standing quietly, trying not to let the challenge ahead overwhelm them.  There was no turning back now. The countdown started and to rapturous applause we set off into the early evening on our quest to become Lakeland Legends…

Hiding in plain sight

Yesterday I had my final recce run on the Lakeland 100 route.  It was a good job I re-ran the leg that I did as it turns out I had completely blocked out a whole section of the route from my mind! I wonder how much of the route I'm already trying to forget in order to control the fear in the lead-up to the race?

Other than the fact that I'd forgotten half of the leg the run was fairly uneventful; a twist of the ankle here, a twinge in the back there. Just the usual really. My runs are slow, clumsy and laboured. After a recent illness which resulted in a trip to the out-of-hours-GP I was pleased to have an 'uneventful' run.  I even wore my Garmin! For the past month or so I have made a point of not wearing it on most of my runs. I was getting too bogged down in stats and splits, worrying about how my training compared to other people's.  Whilst I still loaded my Garmin data to Strava, I changed my settings to private, and stopped going on the app. So if you're wondering why you haven't had any kudos from me of late, that is why. I have avoided it completely. I was too worried about mile splits and mileage that these were distracting me on my runs, worrying about how my run would 'look' to others that were following my training.  So I went offline. And I stopped always wearing my Garmin, not even wearing a watch. Just running. I have felt slow. I have felt heavy. And I feel completely unfit. But I don't have the stats and splits to fret about. And that's a good thing. I am definitely not as fit as I was before the Lakeland 50 but I am as fit as this year has allowed me to be. So whilst I am absolutely freaking out about the Lakeland 100, and with good reason - it's the hardest and craziest thing I've ever attempted - I cannot change the events of this year so I can only do the best I can do on the day.  

Coming towards the end of my run yesterday I passed Beth Pascal. Thankfully I was going downhill at the time, so I was actually running (!) and she was heading uphill. I admit I was a little star-struck but I managed to say hello. She looked so relaxed and fluid and effortless in the way she ran, almost floating along the trail. Oh to have half of her talent and skill, that would be pretty amazing. I daresay we can expect a new ladies course record at the Lakeland 100 - sub 24? 

So long as I am sub 40 I will be very happy. 

Questions unanswered

It has been a tumultuous week here in the UK. This however is not a political blog so I will keep my thoughts on those matters to myself. The prevailing uncertainty does however reflect my current relationship with running, in particular ultra-running.


This past weekend I had my final runs on the Lakeland 100 route in preparation for the race.  Every time I have done a long run, in particular my runs on the route, I suffer a great deal.  These runs are supposed to prepare me for the race: to learn the route and prepare my legs for what they will face, but each time I come away feeling less prepared and less able to face the task ahead. Perhaps it is the enormity of the thing; I have never raced a true 100miler before. Or maybe it's the terrain; it's so unforgiving and it gets stuck into you right from the very first mile. Or maybe the preparation for this race, 2 years in the making, has slowly unravelled my fitness, my health and my desire to run.  The constant pushing, battling against what my body keeps telling me, time away from my children in order to do a long run at the weekend, or losing even more sleep (on top of what I already lack) to try and fit in the runs whilst lessening the time away from my children. 


This sounds like I'm defeated. But quite the contrary. All of the above makes me more determined to finish the race than ever. Or else what was the point of it all?  And herein lies the uncertainty of my position. With having to juggle work and two young children, and very soon going back to university on top of this, is it really feasible to continue with ultra-running?  I don't really know the answer to this.  The problem is that we are coming up to race-entry season when all the big races start opening entries for next year.  And these days you have to be on the ball if you want to get into many races.  So do I enter or do I not? Do the races mean enough to me to keep putting myself through the demands required from training for long ultra-marathons?


And then there is my Bob Graham Round attempt.  I had planned to do it this year initially, then it seemed more realistic to do it next year.  I have been doing recce runs and I have been more focused on hills this year. The improvements have been there, but I don't feel they are sufficient enough yet.  I had set a date for early May 2017, and whilst I think an attempt is still feasible, I still have a lot to think about.  Like the L100 this is something far beyond anything I have ever thought of attempting before and I do wonder, at this stage in my life, if it is the wisest choice.


So many questions and no answers at the moment.  The only thing I am certain of is that after backing out of a Total Warrior this year I am going to have to do one next year with my crazy sisters!  That might be enough crazy for one year. There should always be one crazy thing right ;-)

10 week countdown

There's only 10 weeks left till the Lakeland 100!  I'm not panicking, honest! I've had a couple of enjoyable runs (power hikes mostly ;-) ) in the Lake District fells on the Bob Graham Round route. I really lucked out and got really clear weather windows which was a great help in learning the navigation.  I have done parts of the routes before, but I still had (have) lots to learn.  Steel Fell to Calf Crag drove me absolutely bonkers, both directions!  There's still lots of work to do there. When doing the BGR I am a firm believer in knowing the route yourself and not just relying on others for your navigation.  I am also very much of the opinion that you shouldn't be relying on GPX files etc. as I think this goes against the spirit of the challenge.  The nature of the BGR is that you are doing it with others and so you work together to find your way round, and it's your responsibility to know the mountains. (But that's just my opinion.)

Mid-length and slow runs I can manage. Short and fast - not so much. On Wednesday I ran a 10k urban trail race in Carlisle.  I don't think I have been less-committed to a race in a very long time.  I haven't even raced that short in a very long time.  I couldn't muster up any sort of fire to push myself, to run eye-balls-out, I couldn't force my legs to work harder or faster; I just didn't want to do it. I was only there to basically see my club friends and to get Grand Prix points (however few that may be).  I knew I hadn't a chance of keeping up with the other ladies, even if I had felt like racing, so I my only target was to hold onto 5th DRC lady position and get some trail points in the bag.

I haven't complete a series of DRC Grand Prix competition races since before the kids came along so I really wanted to make that a target for this year.  For the Hill and Trail Grand Prix I need to run 4 races in the series, with at least one hill race and one trail one.  The dates of the races mean my best options are to do more hill races and so I needed to make sure I did the Carlisle Urban Trail race to ensure I fulfilled the trail part of the Grand Prix.  I have already raced at the Screel Hill Race, so that's one hill and one trail done.  Now I just have to complete two more races, before the end of the year.  I am planning on running the Blencathra Fell Race in early June as a mid-week 'hill-session' ;-) which means I have only one more race to do before the end of the year.  

I rarely get to club sessions these days (of which there are 3 or 4 per week) because my runs have to revolve around work, the kids (and hubby's schedule too) so I often feel isolated from the club and my running friends.  So this year I really wanted to make sure I took part in one of the series competitions so I could feel more a part of the club again.  The Hill and Trail Grand Prix appealed to me more than the Road Grand Prix because I haven't raced on the road in a scarily LONG time, and attempting the Lakeland 100 is enough scary for this year.  

My run at Carlisle was pretty poor really if you just look at the time/result, but I finished 5th DRC lady which is all i could have hoped for on the day, and I got my GP points.  Job done really.  So why do I have this lingering feeling of disappointment?  I wonder if I miss racing the short fast stuff.  I know I certainly miss feeling fit and strong - that's something I have not felt since before I had kids.  I miss feeling like I can still improve my times.  I miss having a non-mummy tummy!! I miss not feeling exhausted all the time. I miss not being able to run whenever I want.  I don't know if I will return to focusing on short and fast, rather than the adventure of ultras.  Later this year my life is going to change dramatically again, so in all honesty I don't know where running is going to take me at all right now.  The balls are all up in the air right now so I just need to focus on the 3 specific targets I have set myself - L100, HTGP and BGR (next year).  That's more than enough for any crazy runner.